A Therapist Offers Free Sidewalk Listening Sessions to Help People Feel Heard

Aimee Rozen at the Outer Sunset farmer’s market

Amid vendors hawking samples of honey, winter citrus, and sourdough bread, Aimee Rozen has something else on offer: her ear. 

If you’re walking through the Outer Sunset farmer’s market with something on your mind, Rozen is a therapist who volunteers her time listening to whatever you want to share.

For people unsure about or unable to afford traditional therapy, Rozen lets them experience what it’s like to be heard and the benefit it can provide.

“Obviously psychotherapy is a very different thing from what I’m doing on the sidewalk, but we can be of great support to people just by listening,” she said.

Sidewalk Talk 
Rozen realizes that no-strings-attached listening isn’t something people expect to be on offer at the farmers market.

“They expect there to be a catch, or that we have some kind of agenda,” Rozen said. “So we let them know that we’re really just here to listen.”

Even so, Rozen finds that people tend to be bewildered by the idea. Many decline — at least at first. But those who initially decline sometimes return to take a seat a few minutes later.

Rozen is a chapter leader for Sidewalk Talk, a community listening project that was founded by two San Francisco therapists in 2015 and now operates in 40 chapters worldwide.

The mission of Sidewalk Talk “is to reduce loneliness, promote inclusion, and enhance social health and mental health through the practice of listening on public sidewalks worldwide." The group believes in the “transformative power of heart-centered listening.”

As a chapter leader for Sidewalk Talk, Rozen is at the farmers market once per quarter with a team of volunteers (though Rozen is a therapist, anyone can volunteer). They set up three tables with two chairs each: one for a volunteer listener and one open to anyone who wants to sit.

Memorable conversations
Over her nine years as a Sidewalk Talk volunteer, Rozen has had some memorable conversations: There was the young girl whose mother said she was completely mute at school, but became suddenly loquacious when seated across the table from Rozen. The elderly woman who had lived in San Francisco her entire life, and was now grieving her imminent departure. The young father who stops by repeatedly with his daughter to gush about how much he loves being her parent. 

On a recent Sunday in February, three Sidewalk Talk volunteers took their seats at the Outer Sunset farmer’s market. Two additional volunteers served as “greeters” who stood at either end of the tables, inviting those who passed by for the chance to sit and talk. 

“Is this some kind of social experiment?” someone asked before continuing on their way.

A woman in platform boots and candy stripe tights told the greeter that she didn’t feel like talking. But ten minutes later she was back in the chair for a long chat with Rozen.

During their conversation, Rozen asked a few questions but otherwise didn’t say much. Volunteers are trained in the practice of deep listening: how to listen in a way that maximizes connection. Listeners aim to make participants feel heard and affirmed for who they are, without judging, fixing, or helping. 

“We’re all capable of listening, but it’s a skill,” Rozen said.

She explained that talking with a skilled listener is helpful precisely because the listener avoids the impulse to help.

“When we find our own words to express something we’re going through, it gives us a sense of agency,” she said. “People feel relief when they bring something outside themselves and feel truly heard.”

Listeners get as much as they give
There’s relief for the listener, too. A volunteer listener named Ziv said that he sometimes feels he gets as much out of Sidewalk Talk as the participants. 

“I’ve felt lonely and depressed, I’ve had family problems,” he said. “To hear that others do too makes me feel less alone.” 

Ziv has volunteered with Sidewalk Talk since 2019 at locations throughout San Francisco. He often volunteers downtown. But he said the Outer Sunset  farmers market has a much more leisurely vibe. People aren’t in a rush. And there are kids — lots of kids. 

The first time a child sat across from Rozen, she felt apprehensive.

“In my mind, I had constructed an idea of what Sidewalk Talk was, and it was not for children,” she said. “I almost felt like the father was using it as a way to take a break for himself — which would have been totally fine!”

But once the conversation got going, her misgivings were wiped away. The child, a girl of about three years old, told Rozen over and over about her new light up sneakers and the lollipop in her hand.

“She kept wanting to share with me these two things, and it was just lovely and beautiful and sweet,” Rozen said. 

A unique setting
Rozen says the Outer Sunset farmer’s market offers a unique setting for Sidewalk Talk.

"The Sunset is an incredible community," she reflected. "There's a big focus on community here in a way that I think is unique to other parts of the city that I've lived in."

One thing that makes the farmers market location special is the diversity of people who gather there. It’s teeming with teenagers, seniors, families with young children, cyclists, musicians, and political campaigners of different stripes — often stationed at directly adjacent tables.

For Ziv, the political climate today makes Sidewalk Talk feel all the more relevant.

“To listen without judgment feels like a form of activism,” he said.

Sidewalk Talk creates moments of connection across generational and cultural lines that might not otherwise occur.

Even those who don't sit down to talk can feel the impact.

"Just being here is meaningful too," Rozen emphasized. "They still saw that there was another person here, hopefully with a warm energy, ready to receive them. And maybe that had meaning enough."

Learn more about Sidewalk Talk at their website. Anyone can become a volunteer listener.

Reported and written by volunteer community journalist Lindsay Meisel. We encourage residents with journalism experience, retired journalists, and student journalists in high school and college to volunteer as writers for Supervisor Engardio’s newsletter. Interested? Apply here. Do you know a story you would like to see featured in the newsletter? Tell us about it here.