Recess Time for New Parents Offers Survival Skills and an Ecosystem of Support

New parents gather at the patio of Black Bird Bookstore.

A group of young parents sit in the sunny back patio of Black Bird Bookstore + Cafe on Irving Street. The conversation ranges from the light-hearted (“I got out for my first bike ride!”) to more stressful topics — lack of sleep and 2 a.m. feedings.

The parents are accompanied by their little ones. Oliver, the youngest at three weeks, sleeps through the gathering. Alder, the senior junior participant at five months, gums his way through his snack. Adventurous Leo at 9 weeks is entranced with a basket of colorful wooden toys. 

As members of a Recess Collective New Parents Circle, these new moms and dads have a place to share their joys and challenges. Facilitator Sierra Fish, drawing on her own experience with postpartum anxiety and depression, guides the session with warmth and affirmation.

Amber Hockeborne is a Recess veteran, who started seven months ago when her child was just five weeks old.

“I love it so much!” Amber says. “It’s a really safe space to ask for advice and get tips from other parents, but sometimes you just need to vent. And you find out you are not alone.”

Amber’s son Hawk is also a fan. 

“Hawk absolutely loves the toys, loves the other babies,” Amber says. “These are the first babies he’s ever interacted with.”

Recess Collective, a nonprofit founded by Sunset mom Lisa Nowell, hosts groups at the Black Bird Bookstore for both new and expecting parents. Caregivers and grandparents are also welcome.

There are suggested fees, but no one is turned away for inability to pay. The goal is to help reduce the isolation and stress that new parents often experience while also offering their babies a creative playspace.

Lisa’s interest in young kids and their overwhelmed parents took root earlier in her career when she worked with neurodiverse children aged 4 and up.

“What piqued my interest was what was happening before age 4,” she says. “So much research validates the importance of play for the developing brain, with impact that carries over for the rest of their lives. But I heard from parents that they had no place to take their babies to play and also to connect organically with other grown-ups.” 

With that insight, Lisa founded Recess in 2007 and operated the community playspace in Potrero Hill for a decade. When rents kept rising, she recalibrated, establishing the Recess Collective in 2018 as a nonprofit in the Sunset. Post-pandemic Recess groups have been meeting at Black Bird Bookstore for the past year. 

Lisa has a guiding vision: To surround parents and their babies with an “ecosystem” of support and community. 

“The environment in which a child is born and lives for their first three years makes a big difference in their chance for a strong start in life,” she says. “The earlier we support new parents and young children, the more likely we are to impact the trajectory of that family.” 

While there are scattered programs and services available for new parents, Lisa says they can be challenging to find and often don’t offer the opportunity to connect with other parents. 

Recess' goal is to create safe, predictable, and joyful neighborhood hubs where parents and caregivers can drop-in any time. They can catch their breath, see other parents, and get resources. For the little ones, it’s a place for developmentally appropriate and stimulating play. 

Finding such spaces in neighborhoods across the socioeconomic spectrum is a challenge. Recess is exploring partnerships with organizations where a collaboration would be mutually beneficial, such as Rec and Park, libraries, and housing developments. Donations to the nonprofit are welcome as well.

“The fact is, parenting is hard and it’s also a great equalizer,” Lisa says. “It’s important to have someone to listen and validate that experience.” 

Reported and written by volunteer community journalist Jan Cook. We encourage retired journalists and student journalists in high school and college to volunteer as writers for Supervisor Engardio’s newsletter. Interested? Apply here. Do you know a story you would like to see featured in the newsletter? Tell us about it here.